If there’s one undeniable truth, it’s that we can’t escape ourselves or the influences that have shaped us. You, I, and everyone else are formed by a blend of character and experience…a mix that is more or less unique, yet surprisingly similar to that of others. That’s the irony of human existence: we are each unique, while simultaneously sharing common experiences. And one of the traits we humans all seem to possess is the uncanny ability to conjure crises out of thin air. In this article, we are going to explore that curious capability in life and in the work setting.
What howls in your mind?
Before we begin, it’s important to clarify that we’re not referring to real crises that require serious intervention. What we’re focusing on are the imaginary monsters that haunt us and lead to unnecessary drama. The emphasis here is on the negative side of this tendency, even though the mind is also perfectly capable of imagining beautiful scenarios.
Take a simple office situation, for example. Your manager seems to be in a bad mood and comes across as irritated. What’s the first thought that crosses your mind?
- He doesn’t like me, or I must have done something to annoy him.
- He’s unhappy with the project.
- Something personal must be bothering him.
In most cases, when something unsettles us, we tend to interpret the situation in a way that feels threatening to ourselves. This would be Scenario A.
Scenario B occurs when you’re not only worried about how it affects you but also concerned about its impact on those around you – you feel that you’re not alone in the experience.
Scenario C is when you disconnect entirely, and you disassociate from the situation.
If you go straight to scenario A from when you can remember, you are probably haunted by one or more saboteurs. In fact, it is a bit uncanny for someone not to have them. And this is where the challenge begins: discovering who your inner saboteur really is. If your next question is, “What on earth is a saboteur?”, don’t worry – the next part will explain exactly that.
What is a saboteur?
In very simple terms, an inside saboteur is your mindset working against you. A little bit of education on this topic, the concept is created by Shirzad Chamine, who has identified saboteurs as negative patterns, which usually have roots and have been developed as survival mechanisms in childhood. It takes work to recognise all of them, but in general, you might already know what they are.
If I create a shooting round of questions of love and hate, you will probably figure it out by yourself. Let’s start with something like this:
My greatest fear is that ________
What is the answer? You can easily connect it with what is scaring you and at the same time creates a defense mechanism for you. You can translate this in a working situation and in life in general. The situations may be different, but the trigger behind them is usually the same.
The good news is that you can identify them. The bad news? There’s rarely just one saboteur at play. And like it or not, managing them is your responsibility. There are no shortcuts.
But I can offer a way to keep track of them. Because, my dear friend, they do tend to reappear and often at the worst moments. It’s helpful to notice when they’re fueling a crisis that isn’t even real.
Start writing them down, and include visualisations to bring them to life. For example, find a person who reminds you of yourself as a child, or choose a photo that represents a particular fear. Keep a list. If you’re open to it, journal about them. Over time, this practice will help you uncover what’s truly behind your defence mechanisms.
And not only that – it will begin to reveal the patterns you hold against the world around you. So, when a situation arises, such as an irritated boss, you’ll be able to pause, observe your reaction, and recognise what’s really driving it.
Identifying the saboteurs
Once you write them down, it is only fair to recognise in what type of category your sabouter belongs in. This list of types of saboteurs by Shirzad Chamine may help you in that:
- The Judge: The inner critic that finds fault in yourself, others, or circumstances. It fuels guilt, shame, or frustration.
- The Pleaser: Seeks validation through helping others, often at the expense of one’s own needs.
- The Hyper-Achiever: Ties self-worth to performance and external success, leaving little room for vulnerability or rest.
- The Controller: Feels the need to take charge to avoid anxiety, often struggling to trust others.
- The Avoider: Shuns conflict or difficult emotions, leading to procrastination and unresolved issues.
- The Victim: Relishes drama or suffering, seeing oneself as powerless or misunderstood.
All these saboteur archetypes find ways to manifest themselves, sometimes subtly and other times quite obviously, through behaviours such as overworking, avoiding feedback out of fear of being exposed, constant second-guessing, or saying yes to everything. I don’t believe anyone is entirely immune to some form of saboteur, but the key difference lies in how much effort people make to identify and address them.
This is why, if you take a moment to observe those around you in a work setting, you’ll begin to notice who is aware of their saboteurs and who is overwhelmed by them. Often, more impulsive individuals have multiple strong saboteurs, but the same can be said for the quietest people, who may be afraid to share their thoughts. It’s a matter of layers upon layers, and all kinds of traits can emerge.
However, once you understand what saboteurs are, you can begin to recognise them in yourself and in others. This awareness is especially valuable if you’re a leader responsible for guiding a team.
How to ACE it?
What you need to understand is that a saboteur is not an absolute truth; it is a construct, a thought pattern that you and others have developed to protect yourselves, often based on past experiences, some of which you might not even remember. So, the next time you notice that inner voice starting to emerge, challenge it. Defy it, in your own way. One step at a time, you’ll become better at managing it.
There’s no promise that saboteurs will disappear entirely, as there is no such thing as perfection. But there are ways to improve how you manage your inner dialogue, and, if you’re in a position of influence, how you respond to the behaviour of others.
And if you need support in identifying your patterns and working through them, I have a way to show you how to ACE it. Let’s have a chat.