There’s an interesting and very deep question that’s been on my mind lately. It’s the same question I want to challenge you to think about: What do you want from life?
Sounds simple, right? If you can answer it straight away, good for you. I had to spend some time thinking about it myself. I won’t go into my own thoughts or future plans here, but the reason this question came up is a recent conversation with a client. We ended up talking about what a person might be willing to sacrifice for their career—or, to put it more directly, what they really shouldn’t sacrifice for it.
Oh, to be young again
The answer to that question and the way we answer it has a lot to do with the stage of life you’re in. I think back to myself at 20, full of goals and ambitions, wanting to become an engineer and dreaming of creating and crafting. Then, years later, after my daughter was born, everything changed. On top of that, I began coaching people, so my 40s felt mentally very different from the ambitions I had in my 20s.
A 20-year-old has so much time ahead and far less experience. As you get older and gain life experience, your perspective shifts. You start to see time differently, like something precious, and that changes how you choose to spend it. I would love to go back and spend more time with my daughter. Going to the park was our thing. I would also love to have made more time for the hobbies I love.
So, to avoid ending up with the same kind of regrets I have, my advice is simple. Be aware of the trade-offs whenever you are sacrificing something for your career.
I’m really careful about implying what the trade-off might be for you. For me, it looked like no time for my child, little chance to enjoy my hobbies, or quiet moments with my family. For you, it might look completely different, but don’t fool yourself into thinking there isn’t a trade-off. What matters is being aware of what it is and deciding to what extent you are willing to sacrifice it to build the career you want.
What you don’t see
For a very long time (and to be honest, I think it’s still present) there has been a huge glorification of grinding effort. It has somehow become so ingrained in our brains and culture that we’ve normalised pushing ourselves to unhealthy extremes in the name of earning status. I can tell you from experience, especially having worked with many people dealing with burnout, that the damage this causes can reach a point of no return. You might regain the energy you’ve spent on work, but your health can also suffer.
To be clear, I’m not glorifying laziness. What puzzles me is how we’ve ended up unable to find a balance between pursuing our careers and finding joy in other parts of life. This is particularly common among leaders and business owners. I’ve noticed many of them express concerns about working from morning to evening, feeling trapped in an endless cycle. That’s why so many lose the passion for what they once loved and, instead, start to resent it. They become prisoners of their own ambition. You can’t really see it until you experience it yourself.
Success (whatever that looks like for you) feels very different when it’s a goal you imagine and actively pursue. It is entirely different when it starts to trap you. The idea of success can be alluring, almost hypnotic, but it hides the stress, the long days and months spent on mundane tasks. Nothing is perfect.
And now, you might be asking: What’s the way out of that trap?
The inner teacher
If you pay close attention, inside every one of us, there is a natural stopping point. When you cross it, you begin to hurt yourself. Sometimes this shows up as intuition, and other times it is simply the rhythm of how you function. I am certain we all feel it: the moment when your whole being says keep going or stop.
It is important to listen when that warning appears. When you ignore your own rhythm, things often move towards a point of no return. You do not need to push yourself to impossible standards or grind until there is barely any energy left in you. Be smarter when that decision is in front of you. Choose yourself, be kinder to yourself. This, I believe, is where the secret to freeing yourself from the trap lies.
Enjoy your passions and enjoy the road to success, but the moment you start calling what you are doing a sacrifice, pause. Look closely at what you are giving up and ask yourself whether it is truly worth the version of success you are chasing. What you do should feel natural, like an internal force pulling you forward, not like something taken from you piece by piece. If you are forced to choose, do not choose the path that makes you feel as though you are sacrificing yourself.
I wish I had listened to that inner voice more. That is why I want you to hear yours more clearly. I will leave you with this thought: if you need the word sacrifice to describe your journey, is it really worth walking it?