You’re walking to the manager’s office because yesterday you received an email from him stating that he wants the two of you to review your responsibilities and results from the past quarter. This isn’t part of your official performance review, which is why you haven’t slept more than five minutes all night. You’ve been imagining worst-case scenarios, preparing yourself… and your life… for unemployment. You’ve gone over all your work, analysing every mistake you’ve made. That back-and-forth with the unhappy client certainly hasn’t helped you walk into this meeting with a positive mindset either.
All in all, everything feels negative, and you’re just bracing for bad news—trying to look composed, no matter how afraid you are inside.
If this reminds you of a similar situation or a familiar feeling, you’re in the right place. We’re going to talk about, and unpack, the inner monster that speaks to you in these moments at work… and explore why your mind creates the worst possible stories. Naturally, we’ll also work on how to manage and quiet that voice. Not instantly, because it’s not something that changes overnight… but through a process.
The story behind the reasoning
Our brains are naturally wired to spot danger—it’s part of how we’ve survived for so long. But when there are no obvious threats around us, our minds can start to fill in the blanks. A vague email suddenly feels ominous. A regular meeting feels like judgement day. And because our work is closely tied to both our income and our sense of self, everything feels high-stakes.
It’s wise not to walk through life blindly, ignoring genuine concerns. But if you constantly expect the worst and find yourself wrong most of the time, it might be more than just caution—it could be a mindset shaped by past emotional wounds. And that deserves attention, not judgment.
To understand where this mindset comes from, you might need to look deep… either into your past or into something more recent. For some, growing up as the “responsible one” in the family—always looking out for others—can lead to constantly scanning for danger, even now. That child inside you still feels the weight of protecting everything that matters.
For others, just one difficult experience, like being laid off, can leave a lasting emotional mark. Even if it only happened once, it can quietly train your mind to expect the worst every time something feels uncertain. These kinds of experiences are very real… and they can shape how we see the world. Over time, they can cause us to amplify threats that aren’t really there, building scenarios that feel true even when they’re not.
But while the past may explain your reaction, it doesn’t have to control your future. You don’t need to be frozen by fear. And let’s be real—life isn’t easy… it will throw curveballs. So the question becomes: how do you stay grounded and move thoughtfully through moments that feel uncertain?
What should you take into consideration?
There’s a powerful TED Talk by Tim Ferriss called “Why You Should Define Your Fears Instead of Your Goals.” It opens on a heavy note—Tim shares a deeply personal moment when he contemplated suicide. It’s raw and honest. But what follows is a story of how a mix of chance, luck, and the principles of Stoicism helped pull him back from that edge.
One key takeaway from the talk is this: we suffer more in imagination than in reality. Tim introduces a practical tool for facing imagined fears—a way to clearly define worst-case scenarios and defuse their emotional power. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or caught in cycles of anxious thinking, this talk is a warm recommendation. It won’t promise to fix everything, but it might give you a fresh perspective, a sense of hope, and a structured way to work through the fears your mind keeps inventing.
Now, back to those imagined scenarios. Let’s get one thing straight—fear isn’t the enemy. In fact, fear (or caution, more accurately) has probably kept us safe more times than we even realise. It’s a natural, useful response. But what we’re really talking about here is when fear stops being helpful… and starts becoming paralysing.
It’s not unusual to walk into a meeting with your manager and suddenly wonder, “Did I do something wrong?” That’s a normal reaction. The key isn’t to eliminate that thought—it’s to balance it. Can you also imagine a neutral or even positive scenario? Doing so helps you approach the situation with a clearer head, rather than spiralling into anxiety.
Because here’s the thing: stress clouds your thinking. It can make your mind foggy, and when that happens, you might not fully hear or process what’s actually being said. Even if the news is difficult, you’ll handle it better with a grounded mindset than with one already convinced of disaster.
A man walks into a meeting… and nothing happens
I once had a team member who always seemed to push back on me—not in a dramatic way, but there was a constant resistance. You could see it the moment something new came up. His expression would shift, his inner critic seemed to take centre stage, and the default answer was almost always no.
At the time, I was still early in my leadership journey, so naturally, I assumed I was doing something wrong. But with experience, I began to understand that his reactions weren’t really about me. His internal world was shaped by fear—and anything unfamiliar, like feedback or new ideas, triggered a defensive response. I suspect there were things in his past that made him feel unsafe in moments of change or challenge. Regardless of the details, it taught me a valuable lesson: sometimes, as managers or team leads, we’re just doing our job—guiding, building, evolving—and it’s fear that causes others to react as if they’re under threat.
Now, of course, there are real scenarios where something difficult is said. You might walk into a manager’s office—or join an online meeting—and find out you’re being laid off. That’s painful. It’s a heavy blow, and it can bring financial stress, emotional strain, and a period of uncertainty. Let’s not sugarcoat it: unemployment is no joke.
But here’s the other truth. You might enter that same meeting… and nothing happens. Just a regular conversation. Maybe even a productive or supportive one.
So the next time you find yourself walking into a challenging situation, try to calm your mind first. Don’t let fear write the story before it’s even begun. Let the moment unfold. See what the dice say. Because jumping to conclusions can often do more harm than the situation itself ever would.