Let me start with an important moment from a past coaching interaction. I was brought in to support a company through a major transition, working closely with both leadership and teams on the ground.
Very quickly, one theme surfaced: employee dissatisfaction. Many felt overwhelmed by their workload, despite the organisation offering what could objectively be described as flexible and generous conditions. At the same time, leadership struggled to reconcile this reality with what they believed was a supportive environment.
This raised a central question for the team’s leader and me: how to effectively address dissatisfaction when conditions appear more than reasonable?
What are good conditions anyway?
When I work with multiple people, I follow a simple rule: one complaint represents a unique perspective, but multiple similar observations are a strong signal that should be communicated. In this case, the dissatisfaction around workload and fair compensation was consistent, so it needed to be raised.
I did that, but I also had the opportunity to hear the other side of the story. I could see what the employees were receiving in terms of compensation, as well as the additional benefits available to them. To be honest, most people would embrace such an opportunity, yet some of these employees remained convinced that the workload was too high. While I could not disagree that the workload was significant and it has been addressed, the issue was that many of them were not aware of what the wider job market looks like, as most had only ever worked for this company.
It is particularly difficult to explain a broader reality to someone who is only familiar with their current situation. How do you show them the value of what they have when they may not easily find the same elsewhere? The saying that the grass is always greener on the other side feels especially relevant here.
My approach to this is to raise awareness, both among the team members and their leader. One form of guidance that is always available is to ask others around you about their experiences. In this situation, that can only be helpful. I can share my own perspective on what good benefits look like, but it is equally important to encourage people to seek views beyond this particular company. To ask friends and family about the best and worst working conditions they have experienced so far, and then use that insight to make a more informed judgement about their own situation.
I had one employer who encouraged staff to go out and explore what was available on the job market through interviews. It was a bold and unusual approach, but I understood what she was aiming for. If people are aware of the broader landscape, it becomes easier to determine who will stay and who will move on to a place that suits them better.
The grass is (not) always greener
From a psychological standpoint, I am sure you have many stories (not just work-related) where stuff looks better when you perceive it on the outside. That may be how someone’s life looks, their success, achievements, and even countries with better living conditions. What you don’t perceive at that moment is the details of the other world you are not seeing. Because wishes are, in many cases, based on polished information and observations, dig a bit deeper, and you will find something that is off or dissatisfactory. It is such in life, and in the work that we do, and in the companies that we work for. Usually, the ego kicks in, sees something shinier, and says, “I want more,” or “I want that.”
But the thing is, you need critical thinking to make the decision, because the outside and your ego may be pulling a trick on you. That doesn’t mean to ignore a good opportunity, but to be critically observant of that thing outside, and that means gathering more information about your current situation and the other option. Then make that decision. My additional advice is to make a good judgment with rationality, not emotion, because sometimes there is no going back.
Advice for the leaders out there
Managing people’s expectations has nowadays become part of the leader’s title. Humanity knew much simpler times when the trade-off between the worker and the employer was very straightforward. Now it is not so simple anymore; part of the trade-off is getting to look out for the mental health of the employees and their expectations, and that is not easy. Add multiple people to the team with different characters, and you get a complicated puzzle for any leader.
I would honestly say to all of you, no matter what you do in life, be reasonable about what a job should be, what the trade-off should be, and take that as a reality check anytime you want to look for something shinier. I know people who are very good at doing this part, and in healthy working markets, they make the jumps very smartly and with rationality. I also know people who are never satisfied, no matter where they work, and in those cases, it is very easy to see that it isn’t about the job; there is a deeper inner work to be done.
If you are a leader who is managing expectations, you should create a feedback loop for any information you may get. But at the same time, you should train to improve your skills in painting a picture for the people you are responsible for. That, to me, is a good leader: a person who listens, takes care of needs, but also has the ability to make a reality check for themselves and for others. In this situation too, you will need all the information you can get, and if you can improve the circumstances, of course, do that, but if you can’t, don’t gaslight people or make them feel bad that they want things to be improved. Even if it is not reasonable, being calm and kind will make bigger wonders than being brutish.