It can be an ordinary situation, just like any other day, an unremarkable moment where you look around and everything seems illogical, almost dreamlike or surreal. You’re at a meeting, perhaps attending an event, and you feel as though you don’t belong. In fact, you’re convinced that all of this must be a mistake. You have no idea what you’re doing here or how you ended up in this place. Quite simply, you feel like an impostor, something that doesn’t belong and ought to be removed, because this isn’t your rightful place. You know it, and you’re certain that they know it too, or at the very least, they’ll find out soon enough.
That feeling has a name: impostor syndrome. And it’s more common than you might think.
Who Is This Stranger in the Mirror?
In this world, there are more overachievers than they realise. The drive for overachievement often masks a buried feeling of incompetence or a lack of self-belief. There is a strong correlation between the need to do more and the desire to suppress the underlying sense of being a fraud or not being competent enough. Overachievement becomes a way to bury those feelings as deeply as possible. This is particularly intriguing when you consider that people who work relentlessly and achieve so much can sit in a room with highly successful individuals, often occupying a high position within the hierarchy. There are objective reasons for them to feel valued, and their work is well-received. Yet, despite all of this, they still feel out of place.
Since humanity still hasn’t gained the ability to read each other’s minds, it’s a shame you can’t hear the buzzing of other people’s insecurities when you are clearly battling with your own. There’s a constant worry that others will see through you, and everything you’ve accomplished will be taken away.
You have two faces: one that stands confidently in front of the world, sure of itself, and another that stares back at you in the mirror, filled with insecurity. So, who is this stranger, and what exactly is this thing called impostor syndrome?
What is impostor syndrome?
Behind that feeling that you have there is a definition that describes what that feeling is, and it sounds like this:
Impostor syndrome is a behavioural health phenomenon described as self-doubt of intellect, skills, or accomplishments among high-achieving individuals. These individuals cannot internalize their success and subsequently experience pervasive feelings of self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and/or apprehension of being exposed as a fraud in their work, despite verifiable and objective evidence of their successfulness.
The good news is that impostor syndrome is more common than you might think. Plenty highly competent and celebrated people have talked about it, as famous as the Nobel Prize winner Maya Angelou (“I have written 11 books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’) and the Oscar winning actor Tom Hanks (“No matter what we’ve done, there comes a point where you think, ‘How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me?’”).
The bad news is that it can paralyse you in ways that are perhaps even more frightening than the prospect of being publicly scrutinised for incompetence. In fact, it can affect your health. It is not just a feeling, which is why you should not ignore its consequences. Anxiety, depression, burnout, sleep disturbance, fatigue, headaches… all of these can be the end result of that feeling of incompetence you have.
Now, the real question here is how do you battle with it?
The worrier or the warrior?
There is a wonderful poem by Robert Frost titled The Road Not Taken. It speaks volumes about the internal battle over which path we should, could, or wouldn’t take. And it ends beautifully:
“I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
When it comes to facing imposter syndrome, we’re often standing at a similar crossroads:
Do we continue down the well-worn path of self-doubt, perfectionism, and quiet fear?
Or do we choose something harder, braver, and more transformative?
The choice is this: Will you be a Worrier or a Warrior?
And yes, it is a choice.